


Ritual

by conceptofzero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-15
Updated: 2011-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 02:36:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/277732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptofzero/pseuds/conceptofzero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of these days, Crowbar's going to figure out a way to say no to Die often insane requests. Today is not that day, and that's why he's butt-naked except for the paint smeared over his stomach, about to participate in what can be kindly described as some sex cult ritual.</p><p>Some days, he really wishes he'd asked Doc Scratch to be more specific in his job offer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ritual

Snowman's waiting outside when Crowbar finally joins her, dragging his feet a little. He really doesn't want to be here for a number of reasons, but it's not that he has much of a choice. Crowbar made a promise, and he knows he'll never hear the end of it if he doesn't show up. "Hey."

"Hi." She has a lit cigarette in her mouth, and he watches her take a puff off of it. "The third hasn't shown up yet."

"Do you have any idea who it is?" Crowbar leans up against the wall, glancing around. He can't see anyone else coming.

"No, Die was still looking for one yesterday." Snowman tilts her head away from Crowbar when she blows out her smoke. "I'm hoping it's Stitch."

Crowbar thinks about it and nods. If someone was going to join them, Stitch seemed like someone sensible, somebody who wouldn't be an asshole. "Well-"

There was an all-too familiar blur and whirr in the air as Itchy came to a stop beside them. Even before he opened his mouth, Crowbar knew exactly what he was here for. Damnit. "Hey guys! Are you ready to get your fuck on?"

"Can it." Crowbar glances at the door, wondering what the hell's taking Die so long.

"So what did he promise you to get to agree to this shit?" Itchy glances towards the closed door and then back to Crowbar. "To stop being such a bitch?"

"I... agreed because nobody helped him last year." It had been easier saying no when he brought it up last year. Crowbar didn't know a lot about Die's particular sect, but he knew enough to say no when being invited to participate in some fertility ritual. Except everybody had said no last year, and Die had spent weeks looking and acting like a mess because the ceremony hadn't happened, and every single little bad thing that happened, he directly attributed to the incomplete ritual. Crowbar didn't want another year of that, so he'd agreed. "What about you?"

"I'm getting to fuck Snowman, and participate in the weirdo's freaky sex ritual." Itchy turns his grin on Snowman. She blows smoke in his face in response. "And she's getting laid."

"I agreed because it sounded like an interesting cultural experience." She taps the ashes into a nearby ashtray. There always seems to be one lingering around whenever she smokes. Sometimes the amount that Scratch is prepared is frightening. "Die's still preparing things."

"Well we might as well get in before anyone else comes along." This is going to be awkward enough with the three of them. They don't need Fin or Matchsticks coming along to ask what's going on. Crowbar opens the door and they slip inside.

Die has really pulled the stops. The storage room's been converted into the sort of room you'd expect a sex cult to have. There are candles everywhere, and the odd dry smell of burning incense filling the room. On the walls are a number of symbols that Crowbar vaguely recognizes, having seen them on the walls of a number of businesses he helped shake down back home. They have a name, but he can't remember them, only that each of the intricate symbols stands for some individual god. There's a circle on the floor, and inside of it, a mountain of pillows. Die's fussing with them, trying to shove them into a sort of vaguely sloping shape. He glances over, worry on his face. "I'm not done yet-"

"It's fine, take your time," Crowbar assures him. There's a coat rack and Crowbar hangs his jacket up, Snowman and Itchy doing the same with theirs. Die's jacket and shirt are gone, and he's bare chested, his suspenders the only thing keeping his pants up. "You need our help?"

"No, just. Wait a few minutes." Die keeps patting the pillows, fluffing them up. "Could you lock the door please?"

Crowbar gets the lock, that steady snap as it shuts not doing a lot to calm his nerves. The whole room smells odd from the incense, and he wrinkles his nose. Itchy seems more amused than anything, though there's a bit of a nervous feel to everything he's saying, like he's overcompensating to hide it. It just makes him even more obnoxious. "Nice, very culty. So, we're getting high and banging Snowman-kkkk-"

He knows he should probably ask Snowman to set Itchy down, and to stop choking him. But... it's Itchy, and if anyone deserves it, he does. Snowman waits until his struggling goes down before dropping him. "Don't try my patience."

Itchy just coughs on the floor, saying something that's probably vulgar. Die gets up, casting his eyes back towards the pile of pillows. He manages to pull himself away from it though, grabbing a platter with four cups on it. They're full of a dirty-brown liquid, and Crowbar reluctantly picks a glass up. "What is it?"

"Um, four different natural herbs suspended in alcohol." Die offers glasses to Snowman and Itchy before taking one for himself. "It builds arousal and lowers inhibitions, sort of like an aphrodisiac."

"Is it safe?" Crowbar sniffs at it. Itchy immediately downs his glass, and Die follows suit, swallowing his easily. He glances at Snowman, who just raises her eyebrows and puts her glass against her lips. Crowbar doesn't have a choice now, and he swallows it down too. It's not all that bad.

"Okay, good." Die gathers up the cups again, hustling them away and over onto a table. He gets back down and starts rearranging the pillows. "Now, if you could just take your clothes off and hang them up, we can get going."

"Already?" He's feeling a bit reluctant to strip down, especially in front of Snowman. He's got some... feelings for her that aren't entirely platonic. Crowbar's tried not to let on that he's attracted to her. She gets enough attention from the rest of the Felt, she doesn't need him being a creepy bastard too.

But it seems neither she or Itchy are so reluctant. Itchy's scrambling out of his clothes, dropping them on the floor and stripping down in a few seconds flat. Meanwhile, Snowman turns her back to Crowbar, glancing at him over her shoulder. "Could you get my zipper?"

"Sure." He takes hold of it and pulls it down, watching as it parts and reveals endless smooth black shell. It stops just at the base of her ass and he tugs his hand away, watching her peel the dress off and hang it up, along with her underwear. He starts on his own clothes, fumbling with his buttons as he gets his shirt off.

"Your tits are fucking magnificent." Itchy compliments her, eyes firmly fixed on them. "You know, I heard this story once about this King who was so fucking enamoured with his mistresses tits that he had molds of them made into glasses so he could drink from them."

"That seems uncomfortable for her." She replies back idly and Crowbar tries very hard not to think of cupping a glass the same size of her breast. Whatever Die gave them was strong, because he can already feel the edges of his world getting a bit fuzzy. He gets his clothes off and hangs them up, feeling awkward and aroused. Itchy's not having the awkward problem, though it's pretty obvious how he feels about looking at Snowman's breasts. Snowman is inscrutable, looking away from them and over to the mass of pillows instead. "I think that's enough Die."

"I'm sorry we don't have a real ritual table. I couldn't get any in time. And you probably wouldn't have liked it that much. It's. Well." Die motions for her to lay down on the pillows. "Just get as comfortable as you can. And make sure your legs are open. I need to get the dish underneath you."

"Dish? If this is an elaborate eating-out joke, then this just might be the best pun-based sex I've ever had." Itchy pokes and prods at a couple of bowls sitting over on a table, and Die quickly rushes over, smacking his hands away. "Hey! Fuck you!"

"If you don't want to do this, you can leave." Die snaps at Itchy. When Itchy huffs but makes no move to leave, Die continues. "Don't touch anything. all of this stuff is for the ritual. Just... stand beside Crowbar. And keep your hands to yourself."

"What am I, five?" Itchy grumbles, but heads over to Crowbar, crossing his arms over his chest.

Snowman lays down on the pile of pillows, her knees falling open as she gets her feet settled against the ground. She looks so content right now, her eyes at half-lid, her body bonelessly sprawled out over the pillows. Crowbar's eyes drift over to her cunt and he forces himself to look away. Part of him wants to bolt right now, before things can get worse. The rest of him wants that part to shut up and enjoy this, since this is his one and only chance to fuck her.

Die grabs two bowls from off the table, one flat and shallow with a heavy looking base, the other deep and rounded. The flat one ends up tucked underneath her cunt. The other has some clear liquid in it, and Die dips his fingers into it, and then slides them into Snowman with an apology. "Sorry, but... I need to prep you."

"It's fine," She assures him, her voice an octave higher than usual. Die's fingers are very clinical as they lubricate her, even pushing deep into her entrance. Her breathing slowly changes as he sees to her, becoming shallow and a little fast.

She's not the only one. Itchy does the same, and when Crowbar glances over, he's got his hand around his cock, squeezing it. "Dibs on going first."

"She's not the front set of the van, you can't call dibs," Crowbar hisses at Itchy, stink eyeing him.

"U-um, actually, I'll be going first, then Crowbar, and then you Itchy. Then I can show you how to do this properly." He finishes with Snowman, standing up and stepping over the pillows. Her hands settle on her stomach, her cheeks flushed from the whole situation. Die wipes his hand off on a cloth and finally strips down, hanging his clothes up.

"You know, he can go ahead of me." He's feeling that panic starting to build in his chest. This is not exactly what he signed up for. Granted he didn't know what he'd signed up for, not really but... this wasn't it. "I'm fine-"

"Oh come the fuck on!" Itchy interrupts, scooting over towards Die. His intentions aren't clear at first, but it becomes all too obvious at Itchy tries to shove his body against Die's to compare their dicks, "Are you seriously telling me that you're bigger than I am?"

"Itchy, stop it!" He keeps Itchy barely at arm's length, motioning for Crowbar to come closer. "I need to put your markings on and you have to behave for me to do that."

"Oh now I see why we're really here. This is some elaborate plan to grope the shit out of me." Itchy opens his arms wide, playing up the whole martyr thing. "Well go on, just make sure to jerk me off when you're done."

"If you don't stop, I'm kicking you out of here! This is serious, it's not a joke or something for you to laugh at! This is important to me, and if you can't handle it-" Die is losing his shit on Itchy, and Crowbar ends up getting between them, trying his best to calm them down.

"Shut the hell up Itchy," Crowbar gives Itchy an elbow to the side, getting one in return. His skin feels odd, too hot maybe. He can't tell if that's Itchy or if it's the drugs. Crowbar still tries to keep the peace, since that's his job. "Die, relax, he's just blowing off steam. Let's just... all calm down. Tell me about the markings."

"He's- hffff. They're not supposed to be markings usually." Die's still pissed, but he seems to remember what he's supposed to be doing. He gives Itchy a nasty look, then dips his fingers into yellow paint and starts drawing on Itchy's torso. "Everyone usually wears robes to keep things anonymous. Your whole body should be covered, with only the flap open."

"So wait, you guys stand around in a bunch of robes with your dicks hanging out?" Itchy's eyebrows go up as Die's fingers move downward. "Kinky."

"It's not kinky. It's meant to keep things focused on the ritual, not on the partner. It's meant to be anonymous." He frowns slightly, wiping his hands clean and picking up red paint. Die starts on Crowbar, and his flesh twitches a little at how cool and wet it is. "But there's only the three of us... and Stitch just laughed at me when I asked him for help."

Die quickly draws out a series of runes on his chests and stomachs, stretching all the way down to just above Crowbar's cock. He feels very awkward about having Die's hands so low on him, and he asks a question just to break the silence. "What do they mean?"

"Well, that's a bit complicated to explain. They're not really words, more like... directions," Itchy explains, adding the finishing touches. He cleans his hands off and adds his own symbols in a bright green paint, a large snake winding around the central branch of the markings, "It's a request for focus and power. Your body will follow the lines and focus your energy on the focal point." The point is made pretty clear by the way the lines and symbols all flow downwards, coming together right above Die's cock.

"Dick-power. This is fucking hysterical- uh, I mean, it's fucking different and shit." Itchy anxiously moves from foot to foot. "Doesn't she get any?"

"Only when we've each finished. When that happens, you'll dip your hand in your paint and leave a handprint on her." Die explains, grabbing hold of his paint and setting it on the end-table by Snowman's head. She's propped slightly upright on the pillows, able to watch this whole thing as it happens. "It's a way of marking which men participated."

"Why would you need to do that?" Crowbar frowns, his mind already wandering towards strange conclusions. "And how many men would participate?"

"Well, if she conceives like she's supposed to, then we're able to know which men might be the father. Most of them like to set up a little fund for any potential children conceived. Not that we'll need to do that here," Die quickly assures Snowman, fussing with some of the guttering candles, "And... well, I've been to rituals that had hundreds in attendance."

"Holy fuck. I'd heard this shit was kinky but I had no idea," Itchy laughs, leaning up against the wall. "Can you even imagine that? Snowman wouldn't be walking for weeks. That'd be a hell of a gangbang-"

"It's not a gangbang," Die snaps at Itchy, "It's a fertility ritual, not just an excuse to get off. This is sacred and if you don't start treating it like that-"

"Okay, okay, fine! I'm sorry!" He puts his hands up defensively. It would be a better apology if he wasn't naked and erect. "I was just having a little fun. You know me Die, I can't help myself! My mouth just keeps running and I've got to chase after it!"

"That's no excuse for being rude. Focus more on paying attention and less on being a wiseass. You need to do exactly as I do and say as I say, it's very important." He motions for them to split up. Itchy ends up on the left side of the circle, Crowbar on the right. Die kneels down on the pillows, settling himself between her thighs. "Are you ready?"

Snowman nods. There's something strange in her smile, something that says she's not all there. But then again, Crowbar's not sure he's all here too. There was something powerful in whatever Die had them drink, and he can feel it working on him, making the world soft at the edges.

"Beau Sz-sz, raise your head and hear my words. I ask you to open the way and to hold this woman safe in your coils." His fingers slide into Snowman, parting the lips of her cunt and stroking at her. "Beau Sz-sz, I am kneeling in the pit with my brethren. This woman has invited us, show us the way."

"If you can't find her cunt when you're two fingers deep, there's no helping you." Itchy snarks, kicking a pillow with one foot.

Die glares up at Itchy, and it's pretty clear that the only thing keeping him from getting up and swinging at him is that he's still got one hand rubbing Snowman's clit. "Itchy, I asked you to help, not to be judgemental."

"I'm not being judgemental, I'm just saying that if you need ol' Bo to 'show you the way', then you probably shouldn't be doing this." Crowbar leans over and slugs Itchy in the shoulder for Die. "Hey! Fuck you!"

"Shut up," Snowman glares at both of them, her cheeks flushed red. "Can we please get moving?"

"Of course." Die slips his fingers out of her again. "Beau Sz-sz, bless this brood. Beau Sz-sz, bless this woman. Beau Sz-sz, bless this brood. Beau Sz-sz, bless this woman-" Die positions his cock at her entrance as he chants, sliding inside a moment later. Snowman's breath catches in her throat, and Crowbar feels his catch too, watching Die slowly sink into her. He doesn't touch Snowman, his hands sinking into the pillows on either side of her. After a moment, his hips began to move, slowly rocking in and out of her. "That's... we're good. Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine," Her voice sounds strange, just a little faint. Snowman's fingers stroke the pillows, her thighs staying spread. He can just barely see the bowl beneath her between Die's thrusts, appearing and disappearing with each backward-forward motion. It shouldn't be this arousing to see Snowman having sex with another man. It really shouldn't be this arousing to see her enjoying it. And yet it is, and he's not sure he can blame all of this on the drugs. "Are you allowed to touch me?"

"It's frowned upon." It's funny how calm Die is when he's got his cock inside of her. There's no way Crowbar would be this calm when buried up to his balls inside of Snowman. Or, will be. Will be calm. This is actually happening. "But... it's not disallowed. It's just there are usually so many men-"

"There's only the three of you. I think we can – ah –" Her back arches a little, breasts pushing out even further. She sags back into the pile. "– bend the rules a little."

Die hesitates, then reluctantly lifts his hand. He almost sets it on her before dropping it again, grabbing hold of a pillow and balling his hand up in it. "N-no. This is fine..."

"Can I touch myself?" She asks and when Die nods, her hands slid up her body. They grasp her breasts and Crowbar watches as she rubs her nipples, tweaking them softly in time with his thrusts. "That's better."

"Fuck her harder," Itchy eggs Die on, getting in close to watch. He's squeezing his cock again, not quite jerking off, but certainly handling himself more than he should. Crowbar can't bring himself to touch his own cock, even though he's hard and he'd like to be touched. "Come on, make her moan."

"Itchy, shut up," Die snarls at him, but his hips do speed up, thrusting into her quite a bit faster. Snowman obliges Itchy with a moan that goes through all of them. Die's breathing goes shaky, and when he speaks, it's pretty clear he's wrapping things up. "Beau Sz-sz, I feel your coils on me. Beau Sz-sz, do not crush me. I am your s-servant, I stand in the g-garden. Open the gate for me, Beau Sz-sz. Throw wide the g-garden gates-"

He breaks off, head jerking back and hips thrusting all the way in. Die's face twists and Snowman gets this little shocked look on her face, like she didn't expect this. He comes without a lot of fanfare, just grunting softly as his hips stay pressed tight against hers. His body shudders softly and goes still for a long while. Snowman settles a hand on the back of his neck, stroking it softly. Her voice is soft and shaken, "That's good. That's very good."

Die finally begins to move again, reaching for the bowl of paint and putting his hand in it. He coats it in green and then settles it on her belly, leaving it behind. "Bless this woman, bless this brood."

Crowbar ends up giving him a hand out of the circle and helping Die stay on his feet. He knows he should be eager to kneel down, but right now he's having trouble not letting them see how nervous he is. "You should sit down-"

"N-no, I'm fine." Die shakes Crowbar off, straightening up. He heads over to the coat rack, grabbing his pants and sliding them on, tugging the suspenders back over his shoulders. "It's your turn."

He hesitates, trying to think up some way to beg off. Crowbar's all nerves and the last thing he wants to do it to kneel down and be unable to keep it up. But even as the words are on his tongue, Snowman stretches out a hand to him. "Crowbar, get down here."

There are plenty of people he can say no to, but she's never been one of them. He nods and steps into the circle, getting down on his knees. The pillows keep things comfortable, even if a mattress would be so much better. His eyes are drawn to her cunt, and to the little trail of white dripping out of her and into the shallow bowl. Her hands catch his face and turn it away from that, and up to hers.

"I-I... Beau Sz-sz, raise your head and listen to my words. I... I ask you to open the gate and to- hold this woman safe in your coils." He struggles to remembers the words at his fingers slip inside of Snowman. She's so wet, and his fingers fumble against her clit. She moans softly and he bites his lip, struggling to remember the rest. "Beau Sz-sz, I am ... I'm in the pit with my brothers. This woman has invited us, show us the way-"

"That's... that's good enough, I guess," Die's clearly a little disappointed that Crowbar couldn't get the words right. "You can enter her now."

Crowbar moves in closer, one hand on his prick as he guides it into her. She mmm's contently as he pushes in and Crowbar barely bites back the shocked sound in his throat. There aren't words for this. It's not just the heat or how wet she is, it's the way her cunt grips him. He's never been inside anybody who felt like this before. "Aw fuck-"

"Don't swear," Die chides him, and Crowbar's hands itch to grab hold of Snowman's hips. He grips the pillows instead, letting his knees sink in deep as he starts to thrust into her. When Die said that stuff would get rid of his inhibitions, he failed to mention that it would affect how things felt, like her around him. It's torture not to just reach out and curl his head up against her breasts.

She has no such taboo, and her hands slide over his face, curling down his neck, and then over his back. They dig in here and there, and she smiles at Crowbar, making part of him feel incredibly lovesick. "I can feel your muscles moving under your skin."

"O-oh." Die sounds worried but Crowbar can't make himself pay attention, now when Snowman's hands are on his body, and her thighs wrapped around his hips. "Um. Snowman? I think maybe we should have tried out your tolerance beforehand..."

"I'm fine. It's wonderful, like living a dream. A very, very good dream." Snowman's looking straight at Crowbar, a dreamy smile on her face. He can't help himself. He just leans in and kisses her, just like he's always wanted to. She kisses back, and he's lost for a moment, hands clenching tight in the pillows as her mouth brushes up against his.

"No, no no, you can't do that!" Die is flipping out, but Crowbar barely hears him, too busy enjoying the contours of Snowman's mouth. She tastes wonderful, dark and slightly sweet, and he's so deep inside of her. His hips rock forward, and she holds him tight, hands and mouth on every part of him. Crowbar only pulls back when Die's voice becomes nigh-hysterical. "Crowbar!! That's not how it's done!"

"Sorry," He blurts out an apology, but he can't take his eyes off Snowman, "She's just... she's so beautiful right now."

"You can't touch her, that's the point of the ritual! It's not about you! You are just a conduit!" Die's lecturing him, but Crowbar's still stuck on Snowman, on how warm and soft she is. He wants to lay here forever, to just curl his head on her breast and learn her body inch by inch. Her fingers curl around his face, cupping it, and she smiles back at him.

"This is a fertility ritual, isn't it?" Snowman interrupts Die. Her hands are so soft... his cock thrusts into her on auto-pilot, the rest of his mind lost in the sensation of her skin on his. "It's an act of creation, or impregnation."

"Well... yes, that's the point- well, sort of. I mean. You can't get pregnant. ... at least I don't think you can-" Die's rambling tangent is interrupted again by Snowman.

"Then he should kiss me, and touch me, and worship." She squeezes her thighs tight around Crowbar, the pressure and heat of her making him shudder. Her hips are pushing up to meet him, and though he shouldn't, he sets a hand on on her hip, stroking her smooth, polished skin. Snowman keeps talking, her eyes locked on Crowbar. "If this is about creation, then he should be in awe."

"That's not-" Die makes a frustrated sound. Crowbar focuses on fucking Snowman, feeling her body gripping him tighter and tighter. He leans in for another kiss, and she cranes her head up to meet him, both of them mmm'ing softly as their mouths meet. Crowbar could do this forever. Faintly, in the background, Die gives up. "Fine. You've already gotten the words wrong anyway..."

"Don't be such a fucking downer. Look at 'em, aren't they just the sweetest," Itchy drawls. Snowman breaks apart from Crowbar, and he is not expecting it when she just arches back and moans. Her thighs clamp around him, and Crowbar's jaw drops as she comes, her cunt squeezing tight around him as she does. He stops thrusting, all the air going out of his lungs. "Haha, well done!"

"Oh, I. Oh." Die sounds surprised. Crowbar can't take any of it in. He tries to hold on as best he can, but then she twitches hard around him, and he gets one solid look at her face and the pure rapture running over it, and that's it. Crowbar comes with a shuddering groan, planting his head against her breasts as he empties inside of her. Her hands come up to grasp the back of his head, her long fingers stroking over the back of his skull. He stays there for a while, just listening to her heart. It's pounding as steady as the ocean against the shore. His eyes almost close, right until Die interrupts. "Um. Crowbar."

"Get up asshole, I haven't had a go yet!" Itchy barks, snapping his fingers. Crowbar heaves his head up, reluctantly sliding out of Snowman. He can hear it trickling out of her, pattering against the sides of the bowl.

He looks to the side, and Die's holding out a bowl with red paint. Right. The ritual. He dips his hand into it, getting it coated up. "B-bless this woman... um. Bless this brood." He lays his hand across her stomach, leaving a print right beside Die's. She smiles at Crowbar, and it's Die who helps him to his feet and out of the circle.

Itchy replaces him in a heartbeat, scrambling into Crowbar's place. Die steadies Crowbar and turns his attention to Itchy. "Hey don't forget the words-"

"Yeah yeah, I got it." Itchy rolls his eyes and then settles them on Snowman, rattling off Die's speech word for word. "Beau Sz-sz, raise your head and hear my words. I ask you to open the way and to hold this woman safe in your coils. Beau Sz-sz, I am kneeling in the pit with my brethren. This woman has invited us, show us the way. Bless this woman, bless this brood, bless this woman-"

Itchy's a lot less cautious. He slides his cock into her and starts thrusting right away, his hands settling on her hips. Die immediately starts frowning. "Itchy-"

"If he can do it, so can I!" Itchy's hands travel up her body, coming to a stop on her breasts. He squeezes them and grins, and Snowman smiles back, her face rippling a little with pleasure as his fingers go to work. "Fuck, your cunt is amazing."

"Thank you." Crowbar laughs at how calm she sounds, leaning against Die while his legs try to unjellify themselves. Snowman settles a hand on Itchy's lower back, fingers digging in. "You feel rather nice as well."

"'course I do. It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean." Itchy fucks her steadily, and Snowman clearly enjoys it from the soft sounds she makes. Crowbar feels a swell of jealousy, quickly followed by the powerful punch of arousal as Snowman keens with Itchy's teeth raking over one nipple. The room feels so hot and so strange, and Crowbar can't bring himself to let go of Die.

"This is..." He looks at Die, trying to put it in words. Crowbar doesn't have anything to judge this by. He tries to imagine this with twenty people, thirty, a hundred, and has trouble breathing at the thought of it. Whatever he drank has put his imagination in overdrive, because it's not just that he can think it, but he can nearly feel it too. "Die-"

"I know." Die pats him on the back, and Crowbar gets it. Of course Die knows. He's been here before. This is nothing to him. Three people must be meaningless. His thoughts are proven completely wrong half a second later as Die speaks. "It's never been like this before... it's always been so rigid. But. ... there's power in this too."

Snowman arches her back and moans, and Crowbar nods. He can feel it, just like he can feel the paint pinching his skin, pulling all of his essence downwards. Itchy's fast, hands grabbing everywhere, and his mouth's running, a low-level stream of "fuck yeah, fuck yeah, aw fuck look at you, yeah lemme hear you". And Die's hands are still holding onto Crowbar, warm and steady. He agreed to this just to shut Die up, but now he can't believe he doubted this for a moment. This is magic; real magic.

"Beau Sz-sz, I feel your coils on me. Beau Sz-sz, do not crush me. I am your servant, I stand in the garden- haha oh fuck that's clever. Open the gate for me, Beau Sz-sz. Throw wide the garden gates, lemme right into there. Aw yeah, I'm- fuck!" And just like that, Itchy grunts and goes still, panting loudly. Die lets go of Crowbar, grabbing hold of the yellow paint bowl and offering it to Itchy. He tiredly dips his hand in it, and puts it down on Snowman's right breast. "Bless this woman. Bless this brood."

"Itchy- oh, nevermind." Die sighs, and helps Itchy up. Crowbar gives Itchy an arm, but he doesn't really need it. Itchy's grinning at Crowbar, his eyes at half-lid, and Crowbar can't help it. He smiles back, even though normally he would be punching Itchy in the face. He glances back when Snowman whines, just in time to watch Die slip his fingers into Snowman and start rubbing her clit.

"Alright, sloppy seconds for everyone." Itchy grins and Crowbar shoves him off, the glow of fraternal bonding promptly gone with that last comment.

"Don't be so crude. I'm simply stimulating her. Orgasms increase the chance of conception, and force out any excess fluid." Die's long fingers stroke in and out of her, and Crowbar ends up stepping into the circle and sitting down beside Die just to watch. Snowman's biting her lip, her face flushed and tense.

"You're just making her come? Phff, move your fucking hand." Itchy flops on the other side, shooing Die's hand out of the way, and slips his own fingers into Snowman. There a blur as Itchy speeds up, and a loud shocked moan from Snowman. Crowbar shouldn't be so surprised, but considering how often women storm out of Itchy's room in a huff, complaining about his lack of presence in the bedroom, he is surprised to see how well he's using his powers.

Thankfully Die says that out loud for him. "If you can do that, why does every woman you sleep with say you're shit in bed?"

"First off, fuck you, I'm fantastic in bed. Second, I'm always capable of doing this, but I don't feel like it. It's a lot of work." Itchy's whole voice vibrates in time with his fingers. Snowman reaches out, grabbing onto Crowbar and onto holding tight to his hand. He loses interest in Itchy immediately, leaning in close to Snowman's face to watch emotion ripple across it. "Third, I refuse to be the fuck-up who didn't make her come."

"It's- that's not the point, you're not supposed to get personal gratification from this-" Die protests. Crowbar sets his other hand on the side of her face, stroking her cheek. Snowman leans into his touch, delighted sounds echoing from her mouth. "Crowbar, that goes for you too."

"What about m-me?" Snowman sounds breathless, and she smiles at all of them, showing off those rows of sharp white teeth. "What if I find all of t-this personally gratifying?"

"That's... more complicated..." Die looks at them all and just sighs. "Fine. Just... don't spill the bowl."

"Don't worry about that, my fingers are staying put right here." Crowbar can feel a slight pulse going through the floor from Itchy's vibrations, and Snowman's hand squeezes his tighter and they speed up. "Yeah, there you go, you're right on the fucking edge."

Die settles in on Snowman's other side, leaning over her and giving her instructions. "Try to focus all of your energy downwards, right on your groin. When you come, I want you to push out instead of pulling in. Just breathe in deep and-" His instructions are quickly cut off as Snowman wraps her free hand around the back of Die's neck and pulls his head down, kissing the shocked man. Die's throws his hands out, clearly unsure of what to touch or where to hold on to, and one of them ends up clamping down on Crowbar's shoulder, squeezing tight and then relaxing as Die does the same with the kiss.

Crowbar feels the pressure from her grip grow to unbearable levels, and for the second time tonight, he sees her come. She does what Die asked, and between gasping for air and keening loudly, the bowl fills with a mix of cum and clear liquid. Crowbar's fascinated by it, and kind of grossed out too. Itchy says what he's thinking. "That's just nasty dude."

"It's not-" Die gets interrupted by another kiss, continuing only when Snowman's ready to let him. "Not gross. It's life."

"It's cum and lady-juices." Itchy pulls his fingers out, wiping them on one of the pillows. "So? We done now?"

"Nearly." Die disentangles himself from Snowman, setting a hand on her stomach. He motions for the others to do the same. Die leads the chant, and Crowbar and Itchy half-heartedly participate. "Bless this woman. Bless this brood. Bless this woman. Bless this brood."

Crowbar watches as Die slips the bowl out from between Snowman's thighs. He gets to his feet and takes it over to the altar in the corner. Snowman's still smiling as she looks at Itchy and Crowbar with half-lid eyes. "That was a lovely cultural experience."

"You are so fucking high right now." Itchy grins back at her, elbowing Crowbar in the side. "This shit is great. We should take it all the time. And look! She hasn't hit me in at least half an hour!"

"I'll do it for her if you don't shut it." Crowbar tries to be serious, but he feels so loose and free, and he just ends up smiling, and all of them are just grinning at each other. "The pillows look comfortable."

"Oh they are." She pats them, stretching out. Snowman's so long, so tall, and his hand slides over the side of her hip, feeling the way she curves. "You should join me."

"Wait, wait wait wait, don't lie down. We still have to do the final part of the ceremony." Die hurries over, a little platter with three glasses on it. He hands one to Itchy and the other to Crowbar, taking the last in his hands. He kneels with the others. "This is simple. We just thank Beau Sz-sz and drink in his name."

"I am down with drinking." Itchy lifts his glass in the air, pausing. "... what the fuck is this?"

"Um, the leavings mixed with a little gin and cola to make it more tolerable. It's not the traditional way of doing it but... well, this whole thing has been very non-traditional." Die admits. Crowbar takes a closer look. Yep, that is definitely some cum in his drink.

"Die..." Crowbar glances over at Die, frowning. "This is... a little much. I'm not sure I can do this-"

"Thanks to Beau Sz-sz! This one's for you, ol' snakey." Itchy slams his shot back, making a face. "Holy fuck, if this is how it tastes when it's got gin in it, I'd hate to see how you fuckers normally serve it."

"Thanks to Beau Sz-sz for granting us power and sparing his fangs." Die sips it down. He's much more used to the taste. And then all eyes are on Crowbar.

It's too late to opt out. He takes a deep breath. "Thanks to Beau Sz-sz for granting us this opportunity, and this privilege." His eye slide to Snowman. She gives him such a fond, relaxed smile, and he tips the glass into his mouth, keeping his eyes on her while he drinks it. Itchy's right – it is nasty, and it's hard to believe that this is the more palpable version. He barely keeps himself from making a face, and he quickly hands his glass back. "Please tell me you have something to wash my mouth out with."

"More gin and cola." Die leaves with the glasses. Itchy flops down on the pillows, and Crowbar ends up doing the same, curling up against Snowman.

"Well this has been a fantastic way to spend an evening. I love a good orgy – sorry, 'ritual sex'." Itchy holds up his hands to air-quote, and Die must be placated because he doesn't start lecturing them on the difference. Snowman wraps one arm around Crowbar's shoulders, mmm'ing softly. "We should do this more often. Hey Die, what other sex rituals does your weirdo cult do?"

"They're not a cult." Crowbar idly tells Itchy, leaning his head into the crook of Snowman's arm.

"They totally are, but whatever. Sect? What other weird shit does your sect get into." Die heads back over, handing a glass to Itchy, and another to Crowbar. He sips at it, washing away the nasty aftertaste in his mouth with something much more enjoyable. Crowbar goes to offer his glass to Snowman, but her eyes are closed and she seems to be sound asleep. "Specifically, I mean group sex, or even one-on-one stuff."

"Well... there's a harvest ritual in the early fall, but I'm not sure how much you'd enjoy that..." Die has himself a drink, settling crosslegged by Snowman's feet.

"If it involves orgasms, then I am in." Itchy declares. Crowbar finishes his drink, setting the glass to the side, and ends up closing his eyes. His body feels so heavy, and it's easy to just let it quietly pull him into a nice, deep sleep, soothed by the steady ocean sound of Snowman's heart.

When he wakes, his back's aching, and there's someone pressed against his side who isn't Snowman. He knows because Snowman's shell has a very distinct feeling, and whoever's snoring against his back is far too soft. Crowbar blearily blinks his eyes, glancing back. It's Itchy, who doesn't wake up when Crowbar shoves him off.

The paint has long since dried to his skin and it flakes off when he runs his fingers over it. His clothes are still hanging nearby and Crowbar gets dressed about as quietly as he can. Snowman and Die are nowhere to be seen, and only Itchy's clothes are still hanging there. It's early in the morning, and Crowbar slips out, knowing he'll get shit for his from Fin and Trace if either of them notice his trails.

As soon as he steps out, the smell of cooking bacon and eggs lures him away from his bedroom, and down the stairs to the dining room. He's not even sure whose turn it is to make breakfast. But he's not entirely too surprised to spot Die in the kitchen, busying himself with breakfast.

"Morning!" His whole demeanour has changed. Crowbar can't remember any time when Die was this cheerful. There's a stack of toast and a few dishes full of bacon and sausages waiting to go out. He's working on the hashbrowns right now, happily cooking up those shredded potatoes. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah... really good." Crowbar's stomach growls, and he helps himself to a sausage. "You?"

"My sleep was amazing. Better than I've had in months." Die gives him a smile, and Crowbar feels rather unsettled by how cheerful he is. "Thank you for last night. That was one of the most affirming rituals I've participated in."

"Uh-huh." Crowbar tries to keep up, taking bites of his food. It tastes utterly amazing.

"I think that's what was missing the last few years, before I came out here. I was feeling kind of disillusioned by it all. I mean, it's a sacred fertility ritual but I felt like maybe I'd never feel the way I did the first time, when it was so overwhelming and so..." Die pauses, trying to find the words, his egg-cooking fork clutched in one fist. "Connected. So moved. But last night, I felt it again."

"That's great Die. I'm glad I could help with that." Right now, he wants to start inching out of the kitchen and away from Die's rather frightening cheerfulness. "Do you want me to take any of this out?"

"Oh, yes, of course! Take the bacon will you?" Die unexpectedly throws his arms around Crowbar, hugging him. Crowbar isn't sure what to do with his hands, and he pats Die on the back as about as friendly as he can. "Thank you. If you ever need a gris-gris or protection, let me know."

"Sure, thanks. I appreciate the offer." He slips out of the hug, grabs the dish and high-tails it to the dinning room. Snowman's there, lounging in her chair. Without the drugs in his system, Crowbar feels incredibly bashful, and he has to force himself to meet her eyes. "Morning."

"Good morning." She gives him a wicked smile, motioning for him to grab a seat beside her. He does, setting the dish down between their plates. Snowman leans close chuckling a little. "You didn't bathe."

"I... just woke up." He slouches a bit in his chair. "You look... really good."

"I feel really good. But then again, it's not every day I get to thwart creation." Snowman takes a strip of bacon and tears it apart with her teeth.

"Thwart?" Crowbar straightens up, confused. He can't remember her thwarting anything last night. "You did everything he wanted you too... except touch people."

"Of course I did. That was the beauty of it." Snowman smiles at him, and Crowbar becomes aware that she's not quite sober yet. She's beautiful like this, wicked and cunning and glowing with pleasure. "The ritual was about creating new life. But I'm completely barren. There's no chance of anything growing inside of me. It was a mockery of creation, and a waste of your seed." With that, she taps Crowbar on the nose with her fork and helps herself to more food.

Crowbar can't help it. He laughs, shaking his head. Only she would be so satisfied from undermining Die's ritual, while Die's ecstatic it ever happened. Part of him really wants to kiss her right now. But the others will be here anytime soon, and she's still kind of high, and he doesn't trust himself-

Snowman leans over and kisses Crowbar, making the decision for him. He melts into it, his brain shutting up and letting him have this for once. It's even better when he's sober, though that may be because she tastes like bacon right now.

"Mmm." She leans her forehead against his when they stop. "Maybe we can thwart some more attempts at creation later."

"Sounds great." Crowbar's pretty sure this is completely blasphemous, but he already participated in one act of blasphemy last night by indulging Die, so what's one more?

"-so then it's my turn and I am just fucking drilling her-" Itchy's voice floats in, and Crowbar and Snowman hastily pull back from one another, doing their best to not look like they were just kissing. It's not really a surprise that Itchy can't shut his goddamn mouth about this stuff, but it's still an annoyance. "-and the noises she's making are-"

"Itchy, can it. It's too early for your shit." Crowbar glances over to see who's with him. There's Doze and Sawbuck... and shit, Trace, who's looking right beside Crowbar's head.

"Fuck you, it's never too early." Itchy grins, heading over to Snowman's chair. "Good morning sugartits, you're looking-FUCK! OWWW!"

Crowbar moves fast and gets the bacon away from the blood spurting from Itchy's arm. Snowman wrenches her lance out of it, gets up, and fades out of the room without another word. Itchy hits the floor and Doze ever so slowly rushes to his side. Crowbar sighs. Snowman's got the right idea here.

"You're fucking kidding me." Trace looks right at Crowbar. "Is he really telling the truth?"

"Breakfast is ready-" Die stops dead, carrying in another tray of food. He frowns. "What-"

Crowbar casually wishes he could just leave like someone. But somebody's got to get shit down around here, and that man is him, even if he's hungry and he hasn't showered yet. He grabs onto Itchy and pulls him up off the floor, getting his arm over his shoulder. "Come on, let's stitch you up."

"Fuck! She could stand to be a little more fucking grateful considering that I made her come!" Itchy bitches, and the only reason Crowbar doesn't drop him is because he would have to pick him up again. But he does make sure to run Itchy into a few walls on the way to the boutique, just for good measure.


End file.
